Thursday, January 10, 2008
Let's help one another!
As many of you know, I spent way too many years in a legalistic church. Thankfully, I grew up in church, so I do have another "church experience", to cling to. A positive, bible teaching, experience to hang on to. Of course when you have many people go throgh the same thing, everyones experiences are different. Many similarities, yet different. For some, this "church experience" of legalism, control, and cult like dynamics, is their only experience. When the word of God has been twisted by man, how do you again learn to trust? When your "friends" from church dismiss you as a miserable, backsliden soul, now that you left "that" church. When the church you left has spoken unkind things about every church in town, and it's hard to find a place to worship. When you hear a pastor deliver a sermon and you automatically question his intent...........So many questions. Are there any answers? I am asking christians, non-christians, to tell about your experiences and how you have gotten through them. Maybe you weren't in such a legalistic place, but were just hurt by other christians, or felt betrayed by someone in leadership. Any experience having to do with church, and what and where did you find strength? Please share!!!! If you know someone who you think would have something to share, but probably isn't reading my blog, please send them a note, or link them to this blog.
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15 comments:
Hey Kim, this is Shannon's MIL. I just wanted to say that in my experiences, spiritual abuse and manipulation is such a hard thing to overcome, because of the trust you place in your leadership...it's at a very deep level. We actually went through two different situations, both of which were clearly (now) spiritual abuse - not at the level you went through, but it was abusive all the same. It has taken me years to trust again, but trust has come again for a couple of reasons. One was time, and having a shepherd who was genuinely caring, wise, and worked to help me become what God had called me to (not what he thought would best serve his ministry). The second came as a result of the 1st...the realization that I have to take my eyes off man. Anytime someone tries to control, it is not of God, it is man. Even my wonderful pastor who helped me recover from the abuse that had been inflicted on us, even he had flaws that I was tempted a time or to to see as another attempt at manipulation, which would have been untrue. But I have had to place my trust in the Holy Spirit, which has led me to develop the relationship with Him that I should have been developing all along. I had previously been working for the approval of man. That is always a dangerous place to be. I'll be praying for you...bottom line, doctrines of men are not without motive unless the Holy Spirit is in the middle of their writing. I now trust Him to warn me, direct me, and to trust what He is telling me over anything I read or hear from people. That has really led me to "walk in the Spirit" in a way that has brought much peace. I'm not perfect at it, but much better than in years past.
Kim we've talked about our "church experience" a lot haven't we. Your right, we understand many of the same things. Some obviously are different. I don't see "church" or "pastor" or "bible" or "fellowship" the same. Church is not a refuge for me anymore. Nothing feels familiar there. The people I'm sure are nice, but I look through such a different lens. I still live a "Godly life" (whatever that is) . I am thankful or all that God has done in my life. Yet I'm uneasy about what" typical" Christians would think normal behavior. I love Jesus. I believe he died for my sins. I except the gift of salvation. I feel like God keeps drawing me to Jesus. I feel like he wants me to just see Jesus and not worry about the rest. I can do that, but this journey I can tell is going to be a long one. Thanks Kim for sharing your heart. I know I must sound all over the place talking with you sometime. You always do your best to love me. Thanks Kimmie
I remember even as a little girl asking God "Who are you? What do you look like? Where are you exactly???? I look back and see how He went to great lengths to make Himself real to me, makes me so sad when I think of how I messed up I got, before I really surrendered my life to Christ.
God is ALWAYS faithful and I really believe He was showing me things for many years about what we were a part of, but I listened to man --more than I listened to Him.
We really are empty without Jesus Christ and people know they are missing SOMETHING---but WHAT??? Its like going down the cereal isle as far as what to choose from these days---so many churches and religious garbage available. Its our responsibility to find the Truth and make it our own--also realize there are no perfect people, so that means no perfect church!!
We were a part of something we thought was so wonderful and basically were reminded constantly that it was the one and only church God was interested in--There was a spirit of arrogance and pride there that now that I look back really......Im ashamed to have believed them. Well, I must say God did some wonderful things in our lives (while we sincerely asked for just that)!!!
Many good hearted people touched my life there, and God used them to teach me things Im so grateful for, but we had to go--leaving 17 years of friendships that I still would love to enjoy.
Just as God went to great lengths to reach me, I believe He went to great lengths to show us it was time to leave that church--but not
forget what Hes done for us or to take our eyes off the lost. I think we expect so much from God, but dont want Him to expect anything from us--and that is one thing Ive thought about that really helps me understand how important His Word is. Its what He expects from us!!! I know we cant understand everything in the Bible, but lets face it---what we can understand, we can surely do.
We can trust God no matter what our situation is, even when we've been bamboozled --if you will--- by man!! Yeah, I like that and Ive even said God I don't want to be bamboozled again, so show me and keep me on the right path!!! I know He will!!!
ps. so what if I spelled bamboozled wrong!!
Teri, it's a trip you knew something was wrong their a while back. Me, I thought everything was just fine until Lannie told me otherwise from the meeting. That's a trip. What if I would have told Lannie he was over reacting. Scary thought
Laurie~ What do you think was the main factor in why you left?
When Lannie explained to me what kind of man Pastor Rens really was. It all made sense that the movement wasn't lead by God, but by him. I was able to severe my ties with him because I saw the bigger picture. I didn't want to be associated any further with the man or his fellowship. That to me is why Lisa and Rich are still there. They weren't able to see the bigger picture. There loyalty to God was really loyalty to man. They of course don't see it that way. When I realized I had boasted myself in the way I had been taught to I felt sick. Thank God for Tim and his loyalty to fairness and equality to everyone, that he ruffled feathers the way he did.
Im saddened at how many people who leave CFM really continue to believe the lie that everyone outside of this organization are flakey and just religious, so they give up on God and people all together. We can be so cynical after listening to years of mocking other Christians--- that as soon as we here certain things we immediately judge this person or people.
I know its harder for some people to trust after being hurt , but its the right thing to do---I want to be given another chance when I do something stupid, so I need to do the same.
Guess this is some kind of therapy huh? Thanks Kim-and Laurie for being there for me!! I love you guys!!
Pure at heart and simply my comment is God is faithful.I prayed for years, Lord please remove my daughter and her family from the influence of that man. I couldn't even say pastor. God knew all the reasons I prayed that prayer and Faithful is thy Holiness. God gets all the glory. Laurie and Teri I am thankful that body of believers brought you into Kims life. As for the Renz family I must and will remember to pray for them.
I forgot to say, Love to you all. Joan
I forgot to say, Love to you all. Joan
oops I'm so good at this.
Teri, Laurie and Kim
I find myself very greatfull for the faithfulness of my and your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am thankful that I have only been in two churches since I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. During that time He has been faithful to the promises that He made to me and to all that believe in Him through His word. As I have been reading your comments, I find that I have a great since of Joy and peace and contentment knowing that His truth has set you free. That freedom has freed all of you from the bondage of the lie that had been perpetuated in your life and had separated you from the true love of God. It is not my intent to get legalistic as it is very obvious that all of you have had a belly full of that type of self righteous and self serving crap. I also can see how your trust level (especially of those who carry the title of pastor) is very low and salted with a taste of skepticism. Nestled within the context of all that you have written are the necessary ingredients that Jesus will use to completely heal you and to bring you to a position of trust. Each of you has spoken of forgiveness, love, faith and your basic faith and belief in Jesus. As I am typing this the Lord is quickening to my mind the old spiritual which says "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full at His wonder and grace and the the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace" Perhaps I have the words wrong but I believe that He is telling all of us to keep are hearts and minds focused on Him. Praise God for His mercy, faithfulness and Love.
I was also blessed to hear that the desire of your heart was that those whom are still CFM will awaken to the truth and come to realize that God is coming back for His bride and that bride will be made up of all the believers regardless of which church they fellowship at or in. I to shall continue to pray that the Lord will remove the scales from their eyes and ears and that the hardness of their hearts to the truth of the scripture will be removed and that the reality of all that Jesus has for them will come to pass. God's word challenges us to not return evil for evil, so when you hear words of rebuke from those who still are under the influence of those still in that church: bless them and pray for them. All of this that I have written comes from the heart of a greatfull and loving father and brother in the Lord knowing that I am not perfect but that I am forgiven. Jesus continues to speak to each of us on a daily basis both through His word and His Holy Spirit. You can fully trust them and lean on them as they promise to never leave you and never forsake you. When I mess up and that happens more than I like to admit I take great comfort in knowing that I can go to my father in Heaven in prayer and He will grant me mercy, love and forgiveness. He is Good! I guess that as I conclude this I will simply say that I am proud of all of you. You made decisions that were not easy and I am sure that the Lord will continue to bless you and honor you. Kimmy I love you and you are a blessing to me. May the Lord draw you close to His heart and may He sing words of love over you, may He place His hand upon your head and speak vision about your life into your heart, may He affirm His joy for you and may He delight in the words of praise that you say to Him, may He wash and anoint you with the oil of His salvation and may His name forever be on your lips and in your heart.
Love Dad
Kim your blessed to have such loving and faithful parents. Thanks Scott for your encouraging word. I remember that song and I do think you have it right!
Yes! Thank you for this timely word! & Kim you definately are blessed with such a great family!!
Love to all~
Teri
one of these days I'll have my own blog (maybe)
Thanks dad for all of your comments. It's funny, because in all of our years spent in the most "christian" place on earth, you never heard much christian talk. When I read the words that you, Mom, and Margie wrote, I am so encouraged. I really feel like you were carrying my burdens all along. We were not taught to carry one anothers burdens. We weren't taught how to speak words that build up. Not that someone says hey this is how you carry someones burden. I am sure it is taught by example. Most of our examples were self serving, and mean spirited, all in the name of Jesus of course. If someone were to read what you wrote, they would comment how "religous" it was. Little do they know, they are more like the Pharisees than they realize. And what they call religous is really what Jesus is about. You made me cry dad, with your comments. I am so thankful to have a dad who loves Jesus. Thanks for letting Jesus do the work in us and having the faith that He would. So many people there have lost relationships with their family members over that church. Love ya both lots-
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